Popping the Question

At Kelleher & Associates, our matchmakers don’t just help our clients meet someone special; we can help them through every step of the relationship from the first kiss to the first dance at the wedding. Fact is, in almost 25 years of matchmaking, we’ve seen thousands of couples we matched make it the altar. And, as a result of this experience, we can advise you on creating that perfect proposal.

The moment in which you become engaged is a special one, one the two of you will no doubt be recounting to friends and family for years to come. Keeping that in mind, ask yourself a few questions. How would your future wife (hopefully) want the event to unfold? What are the three words you would like her to use in describing the proposal to others? Let the answers to these questions be your guide in planning your proposal.

Also, be sure to make your proposal not just memorable, but special and romantic. Proposing on a JumboTron at a sporting event is certainly unforgettable but, for many, would also be embarrassing and tacky. The following are some examples of terrific proposals we’ve seen throughout the years:

• He organized a private dinner on a beach at sunset, complete with a string quartet playing background music.
• He put together a dinner party with the same six guests and menu from the dinner party two years earlier where he had taken her on their first date. At the end of the meal, he proposed.
• He paid two photographers to capture the event from a distance with telephoto lenses, and later that night, he presented her with photographs of the proposal.

Now after the proposal (after she’s said “Yes!”), you want to show her that you’re just as excited about your upcoming nuptials as she is. Essentially, the more time you spend together, the more energy and anticipation you will put forth toward your wedding day. After you’ve both finished telling your families and friends the big news, you can work on creating a great after-engagement memory to make the proposal even more special. Here are some of our favorite post-proposal moments we’ve heard from clients:

• He whisked her away to Paris – a romantic classic that never gets old.
• He organized brunch the next morning with her parents (whom he had flown into town) and his parents at a beautiful bay-view restaurant.
• He booked a reservation for the next night at a four-star restaurant with her best friend and his best friend whom would be the matron of honor and best man at their wedding.

We at Kelleher & Associates congratulate you on making the next step, and we wish you well in organizing an unforgettable proposal.

Being More Authentic in 2011

As it’s the start of a new year, it’s natural that everyone’s thinking about their resolutions, ways they can improve in the coming year. At Kelleher & Associates, people often ask us “What are people looking for?” or “How can I be more attractive to a potential match?” Quite honestly, the answers to these rather broad questions vary with each person.

Recently, I read an article in Fortune about authentic leadership. Reading over the characteristics that define an authentic leader, I realized that many of these qualities match the advice we often pass on to our members when asked the questions above.

The article uses the above Venn diagram to show how several attributes must be present in order have a certain quality. For instance, to be considered generous, one must be trustworthy and self-aware. And, in order to be sincere, one must be both trustworthy and transparent. In order to be truly authentic, one must demonstrate self-awareness, trustworthiness and transparency – all key elements in a healthy relationship.

So, if one of your goals of 2011 is to improve your personal and professional relationships, focus on being more authentic by showing others that you are dependable and truthful, truly know yourself including your strengths and weaknesses, and are direct and open.

Studies Show that Online Daters Tend to Exaggerate in Their Profiles

Recently, we at Kelleher & Associates came across a fascinating study compiled by OKCupid, a popular dating website, that demonstrates just how often online daters tend to embellish on their dating profiles in efforts to score more dates. Here are a few of our favorite survey findings:

The study neglected to cover one of online dating’s biggest dangers: married online daters pretending to be single. As matchmaker, one of our most important duties is to carefully screen each potential match before presenting to the client. At Kelleher & Associates, we interview everyone in our matchmaking network, and verify their basic identity and marital status.

This is a major advantage matchmaking can offer over online dating, where daters are pretty much on their own to decide whether or not other users are trustworthy. Don’t leave something as important as finding a life partner to chance; invest in help from the professional matchmakers at Kelleher & Associates.

Kissing: The Facts

A couple’s first kiss is a magical milestone in any relationship. The first time those lips meet symbolizes passion, furthers intimacy and glimpses into a possible future. For those reasons (and more), that kiss at midnight on New Years’ Eve is a great way to end, and begin, a year.  

In honor of The Kiss, here are some fun facts about locking lips:

• On average, people spend 336 hours of their lives kissing.
• The word “kiss” comes from the Old English word cyssan, which came from the proto-Germanic kussijanan or kuss, which is likes based on the sound kissing can make.
• A light smooch on the cheek uses two muscles, while making out can use up to 34 facial muscles. 
• Common chimpanzees kiss with their mouths open, but not with tongues. However, bonobos, arguably the most intelligent of primates, do kiss with tongues.
• A good kiss triggers the release of the same chemicals in the brain as race car driving, ski-diving or running the 100-yard dash!
• According to studies, kissing on a regular basis can improve circulation, perk up skin, combat tooth decay and cure headaches.
• The average woman kisses 29 men before she is married.
• Men who kiss their girlfriends/wives before going to work tend to earn more than those who don’t.
• The longest kiss in film history, at three minutes and five seconds, was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 movie “You’re in the Army Now.”
• Using an “X” to symbolize kiss (as in “XOXO”) dates back Middle Ages. In the late fifth century in Ancient Rome, people who could not read were allowed to use an “X” as their signature. To make it official, they would kiss the X. In time, the “X” would come to mean “kiss.”
• Like fingerprints and snowflakes, no two lip impressions are identical. 
• 66 percent of couples turn their head to the right when kissing.

Love Locale: Rio De Janeiro

For the cold month of December, we at Kelleher & Associates have selected the always warm and lively Rio De Janeiro for our Love Local of the month. This breathtaking South American city offers up beautiful beaches, fun festivals and plenty of cultural attractions. If you’re looking for a balmy escape from those winter temperatures, grab your sweetie and head to Rio.

Romantic Hotel: Copacabana Palace

For an unforgettable stay in Rio, make sure to book a room at the opulent Copacabana Palace. Overlooking the Copacabana Beach, the Copacabana Palace lavishes guests in every imaginable amenity, from well-decorated, sumptuous rooms to world-class spas.

Romantic View: Beach Cabana at the Martin Pescador Boutique Hotel in Buzios

You won’t believe the spectacular ocean views and sunsets you’ll take in while sipping on a Caipirinha at the Martin Pescador’s beach cabana.

Romantic Restaurant: Restaurante Tereze

At Tereze, dine on Mediterranean-inspired dishes such as smoked lamb and fois gras in a peaceful, romantic setting.

Signaling That Second Date

So, you’re on a first date and it’s going great. He’s not only attractive and smart; you two have had a great time talking through dinner. Now that you’re almost done with your entree, you’ve decided you’d definitely like to see more of him. But how do you signal to him that you’d like to go out on a second date?

As your matchmaker and relationship advisor, we at Kelleher & Associates hold that the best way to get that second date is to be direct and say, “I’ve had a great time and I’d like to do this again soon.” But we understand that being that straightforward isn’t for everyone. If you prefer a more subtle approach, you can gently indicate your interest in seeing him again with these understated signals:

Give him the eye. Give him that tantalizing feeling of being watched by looking into his eyes, holding his gaze just long enough for him to notice, and then looking away.

Face him. Moving your hair away from your face subtly signals your interest to your potential suitor. Try tossing your hair briskly from side to side, pushing your hair behind your ears or softly sweeping your bangs to one side of your forehead.

Think ahead. Get him thinking about “what’s next” by making statements that mention the two of you doing something together sometime in the future. This can be as subtle as “we would have a great time at that Thai place” to more straightforward like “I’d love to take you on a short hike.”

If he’s interested, chances are that pick up on these signals because he’s looking for signs that you’re interested as well.